Know the warning signs

Abuse may begin with behaviors that are easily dismissed or downplayed. Over time, the abuse can escalate as a means of keeping control. Some examples of abusive tendencies include, but are not limited to:

• Telling the victim that they can never do anything right
• Embarrassing or shaming the victim with put-downs
• Showing jealousy of the victim’s family and friends and time spent away
• Keeping or discouraging the victim from seeing friends or family members
• Accusing the victim of cheating
• Controlling every penny spent in the household
• Taking the victim’s money or refusing to give them money for expenses
• Looking at or acting in ways that scare the person they are abusing
• Controlling who the victim sees, where they go, or what they do
• Controlling how the victim dresses, wears their hair, etc.
• Stalking the victim or monitoring their victim’s every move (in person or also via the internet and/or other devices such as GPS tracking or the victim’s phone)
• Preventing the victim from making their own decisions
• Telling the victim that they are a bad parent or threatening to hurt, kill, or take away their children
• Threatening to hurt or kill the victim’s friends, loved ones, or pets
• Intimidating the victim with guns, knives, or other weapons
• Pressuring the victim to have sex when they don’t want to or to do things sexually they are not comfortable with
• Forcing sex with others
• Refusing to use protection when having sex or sabotaging birth control
• Pressuring or forcing the victim to use drugs or alcohol
• Preventing the victim from working or attending school, harassing the victim at either, keeping their victim up all night so they perform badly at their job or in school
• Destroying the victim’s property